Sunday, November 23, 2008
"No Dentist Left Behind"
"The parody was originally titled 'Absolutely the Best Dentists.' It was written and sent to every newspaper and legislator in South Carolina a number of years ago in an attempt to point out the absurdities inherent in South Carolina's then new accountability act which was focused on 'absolute' performance and threatened retention for every child who couldn't meet very challenging grade level standards. (Not to mention severe penalties for 'poorly performing' schools, teachers ands administrators.) Since then it has traveled widely to the point that I have not been able to keep up with the uses; but I know it has appeared in teacher association publications in at least three Canadian Provinces and in Australia, as well as dozens in the USA. The No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB) seems to have given the story a new life."
Thus: No Dentist Left Behind.
http://www.trelease-on-reading.com/no-dentist.html
Monday, November 17, 2008
Going for Baroque and Loving It
Heinrich Ignaz Franze von Biber (composer), Romanesca (performer), Nigel North (performer), Andrew Manze (performer)
Harmonia Mundi, 2002
Giovanni Mealli (composer), Richard Egarr (performer), Andrew Manze (performer) Harmonia Mundi, 1999
Friday, November 7, 2008
If You Think You Have an Idiot Boss, Think Again . . ."Spich EEmpadumeeent"
IB= Idiot Boss
M = MeIB: Well . . . perhaps he is imitating how you are saying Bill
M: [Hunh?] I don’t say Bill like Beeeel. I say Bill.
IB: But maybe he thinks that is what YOU are saying.
M: [processing . . . processing . . . so you’re telling me that >>I<< have a speech impediment and that that this particular nine year old student who I’ve worked with for 2 months now, for one, half hour a day, five days/week, has through some miracle, picked up on how I MAY be mispronouncing a word????]
[And given that the name "Bill" comes up so infrequently in our conversations about books and reading, it must further be some kind of complex ability—a regular marvel to modern science—that he can remember and imitate a word that I "could" have mispronounced a few times to him. Hmmmm . . . this is a very profound conversation. It needs to stop now.]
But he is using the name "Bill" to decode other word with the same rime . . . like pill, will, mill . .
IB:
But I heard a story once of a teacher who worked in Alabama who would pronounce the word "it’s" and the kids would pronounce it (to her) like "eats". Therefore the kids heard her pronounce the word like "eats".M:
[No, IB, that would mean they have what we call an "accent" and the kids are pronouncing the word according to how they were taught at home from the area of the country they live in not because they are misinterpreting her pronunciation of "it’s".][I shake my head inwardly as if I have just stepped into a very large icky cobweb.]
He is not hearing ME mispronounce the word. He already pronounces the word incorrectly and uses it to decode all words that end in ill as EEL . . . [You, freaking IB] IB: M: . . . . . And Yes, IB, he is mispronouncing other words as well. IB: Ohhh . . . . M:
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Confession: This is My Secret Too
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Fear and Loathing in a School District
1) Always keep a promise--to students, colleagues, and staff. I'm finding the group of teachers I work with need to be "re-parented", have trust issues, and are extremely sensitive. From years of broken promises and feeling neglected, they are quick to point out any minor misstep. They are very literal minded folks. If you say you're going to be in their classrooms some time soon, they assume you're going to be there tomorrow. :-) Oye vey. The same holds true with students--I remember promising a student a long time ago that I was going to buy him special origami paper I found at a store. Well, every day thereafter, he kept asking me for it and for god's sake, why did I even make that promise? That was the last thing he needed--another disappointment, and while it may not seem a big deal, it WAS a big deal, and I made a note never to do that silly stuff again. When you fail to keep a promise, people remember--always!
2) Be visible and communicate OFTEN--to students, parents, colleagues, and staff. Contrary to what students and employees say, they really DO want to see you hovering over them . . . it means you care about the quality of their work, their personal contributions, and their successes. It also shows that you are a conscientious leader/teacher and that you also pride yourself in the quality of your work. In addition, I have found that communicating quickly with parents at the beginning of the year is very effective. Because I sent letters home to the parents at the very beginning of the year, they were less anxious and tied up in knots because they knew what was going on and there were no surprises. Also, whenever I get a call from a parent, I call back as soon as possible and give that parent as much time as I can to allay his or her fears. It just builds a wonderful rapport and a great foundation for trust (there's that word again). Yes, and return colleagues' phone calls/emails asap.
3) Even if you aren't a parent, you have to become one. I find that adults and children respond very well to boundary setting, guidance, and direction. And sometimes due to poor prior relationships, students and employees need to see you as the parental figure--the rock, the safe spot, home base--whatever. Wherever you are developmentally, you need to dig deeply inside yourself and envision the people around you as needy children. And then establish a rudimentary goal of meeting those needs . . . the constant complainer is saying "pay attention to me"; the oppositional defiant is saying "respect my needs" and so on. They also want you so say, "Hey that's enough" and "Stop" and "NO!" because it makes them feel safe. It's simple psychology, but it's also the difference between having a hellish year and a marvelous one.
4) Don't bite off more than you can chew. People often remember our failures more than our successes, probably because they are more likely to remember how they were hurt as a result of our failures :-). (There is some interesting research about why "hurt" sticks with us more than "happiness", but that's another post). Go slowly, and take baby steps, then relish the success of those small changes. People in general cannot deal with change--particularly as they age and also from not being asked to change . . . so move slowly and be happy when small changes produce sounds no louder than water lapping up against a rock in a pond. It's a good thing. And students, even though they are young and more resilient at times, also have a hard time dealing with change, so respect the "traditions" and go with the flow--not because you necessarily agree with the flow but because you want your students to feel safe (there's that concept again). I love change and can weather it better than others, but I have learned to respect others' need for sameness and it's made me a better teacher and colleague because of this.
5) Celebrate success LOUDLY. Don't go quietly into the night . . . shout it out! Make note of every single success (regardless of size) you observe or hear about. No sappy saccharine stuff is needed here--just point out the accomplishment. Students and employees will be eating out of your hand! Usually on Mondays I take stock of student "successes" by reviewing the previous week. I review my guidelines and ask students to assess their own performance. I also note the successes I observed the previous week and make a big deal out of it. And it's always nice to thank students and employees publicly--even for completing minor tasks or for meeting a small goal--in front of their peers. Once again, this is the re-parenting and "you matter" part. It works, trust me it works!
6) Lastly, don't beat yourself up. Nothing ever good came out of self-flagellation. So stop now, take it in stride, and revise your plan for the next time. I have often started a lesson in first period and thought it was awful. Then by the third or fourth period, that lesson was totally revised--for the better. I also have found that by admitting I make mistakes and by pointing out to my students that, hey, I don't think that lesson was very effective--but, hey kids, stay tuned for next time for the revised, and newly improved version--my students are less likely to be critical and more likely to admire my willingness to show my human side. This also applies to colleagues and employees--pointing out one of our mistakes or wrong decisions, once in a while can be very effective--as long as you make motions to revise that error.
Much luck!
Sincerely,
a teacher
Saturday, July 26, 2008
The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Reader
Go to:
www.goodreads.com
Monday, May 26, 2008
'Tis the Season . . . to Interview
Last week the assistant superintendent at a school district called me to set up an interview. Said he wanted to check my qualifications and make sure that I knew the aspects of the job. Turns out the newspaper didn't indicate that it was a one year position. No matter to me . . . I'll take it. It's a risk, but chances are, if you perform well, the school will hire you in another capacity or for that job . . . you just never know. So . . . he said that he was going to talk to the principals and then set up a time for an interview for next week (that would be this week). He wanted to see how they could include me in the program even though it was through the special education department and they were going to see "how to make that work." Hmm. Then he asked if I was teaching in a district and I said "No, I'm teaching, but not in a district." He said. "OH!" and I thought "oh no . . . oh no . . .does this matter??" He then said, "But you have a secondary certificate in English, correct?" I said "YES!" (not that loudly) Well, I didn't hear from him the rest of Friday, so I called. The secretary told me that he had been in meetings all day and that he was in a meeting right then. I started panicking. I thought I'm done I'm done. . . he's not interested . . . he's confused me with someone else and made a mistake calling me. So I fast forwarded the time to after work. I thought maybe he called me at home and left a "regret" message. That would be the safe way. Or maybe he didn't call at all. That would be preferable because then that meant he was really busy. OH GOD! The knots one can bind oneself up in--it's insane. CRAZY. So I've been waiting all weekend wondering if he would call me at home (didn't) and then wondered when he had a time in mind next week because we all have a shortened week (panic).
Perhaps I need to cool it and find something else to do with my time . . . Maybe I'll make jewelry.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Umm Like Hemingway or Something
Me: Standing in line to buy a book at Barnes and Noble
Unknown High School/College Student to Salesperson:
Like. Yeah. I have to get this book called I think Old Man and the Sea (intoned as a question) and I don't know where to find it. I'm not sure if it's fiction or nonfiction. (I was impressed she even knew the difference--this would lead me to believe that she probably is indeed a college student at a local college. Community. Very local.)I think it's like Hemingway or something. (She shook her head and rolled her eyes like how could her teacher/professor possibly expect her to find such an obscure book at a bookstore of all places.)
Salesperson:
Hmmm . . . Let me check the computer for you (she actually had to think about this??)
Me: (silently)
Like Hemingway or something! What the hell . . . Okay, be nice. BE NICE. And wow it's like some crazy author--no one has heard of him. Like whoa. He's so rare. Wow, like I had better check the computer because there is a strong possibility that Barnes and Noble may not carry this book. I mean, it's so rare and all.
Me:
I know I know--I'm a teacher. Like yeah!! And gawd I should understand the plight of our youth today, seeing that they were brought up and raised by TVs instead of people. And it's my job to rub the grit of ignorance out of their eyes, right?? Like yeah! But jaysus there are days I want to beat my head against a very hard door and wonder if, for example, that Old Man and the Sea, which is not the best of Hemingway, will be the only book this poor brain-frittered mind of a girl will ever read in her life and that my friends is the saddest tale of all.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Tis' the Season to Be Greedy
To me the act of giving simply means that you give an item or perform an activity to show appreciation, thoughtfulness, love, or good cheer. Giving for the sake of making yourself look good is crass and obvious. I can't say that this has happened to me a lot, but I know when it does and it makes me feel . . . like party leftovers.
I can very proudly say I have never regifted--nor would I think of it. I have outright told someone, hey I have something that I can't use, doesn't fit, I already have the same pair--would you like it? Here take it . . .
Now that's a whole different story.
I'm also amazed with the "Return Item Givee's" I have heard of certain family members moaning about gifts that they didn't like and were going to return. hunh? I thought the return line was for things that didn't work or sizes that didn't fit. Not to return an item because it didn't suit you. What the hell is wrong with people? A gift is a gift--suck it up and accept it. It was meant to show appreciation, good cheer, love, or thoughtfulness--so shut up, if you don't like it. Instead of whining and complaining how no one understands you, think about WHY the person gave you the gift. And this includes "regifting". So while I don't like regifts and want to say to people--listen, give me anything--it doesn't matter--it's the thought that counts, I also have to remind myself that the regift probably had some good intention behind it--even if it is tacky.
That old adage--it's the thought the counts--still applies today. It's not an old-fashioned concept. In our narcissistic and materialistic society, people have come to believe that they are "owed" something and that they "deserve" better. That just sounds like Grinch-lingo. Think like a Who and get over yourself!
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Cyberbullying--What It Is and Why You Should Care
Bullying is not new; neither is cyberbullying, but it's easier to carry out because it requires no confrontation, reaches a larger audience, and can be more damaging. Here are some examples of cyberbullying from © WiredKids, Inc.:
- Instant Messaging/Text Messaging Harassment
- Hateful Anonymous Messages sent via email or text messaging
- Bashing Websites: Example: Vote for the Ugliest Girl at XYZ Middle School
- Anonymous Death Threats
- Making False Accusations to Child's Email Provider
- Sending Unwanted Pictures Through Email or Cell Phones
- Stealing Passwords
- Defamatory Blogs
- Sending Porn or Other Junk Email and IMs
- Uploading Child's Pictures to Unsavory Web Sites
- Impersonation
- Sending Malicious Code (viruses)
- Interactive gaming
In short, cyberbullying is "willful and repeated harm inflicted through the medium of electronic text" (Patchin & Hinduja, 2006).
The constructs of “malicious intent,” “violence,” “repetition,” and “power differential” appear most salient when constructing a comprehensive definition of traditional bullying, and are similarly appropriate when attempting to define this new permutation. To be sure, cyberbullies are malicious aggressors who seek implicit or explicit pleasure or profit through the mistreatment of another individual. Violence is often associated with aggression, and corresponds to actions intended to inflict injury (of any type). One instance of mistreatment, while potentially destructive, cannot accurately be equated to bullying, and so cyberbullying must also involve harmful behavior of a repetitive nature. Finally, due to the very nature of the behavior, cyberbullies have some perceived or actual power over their victims. While “power” in traditional bullying might be physical (stature) or social (competency or popularity), online power may simply stem from proficiency. That is, youth who are able to navigate the electronic world and utilize technology in a way that allows them to harass others are in a position of power relative to a victim. There are two major electronic devices that young bullies can employ to harass their victims from afar. First, using a personal computer a bully can send harassing emails or instant messages, post obscene, insulting, and slanderous messages to online bulletin boards, or develop web sites to promote and disseminate defamatory content. Second, harassing text messages can be sent to the victim via cellular phones.
CITATION: Patchin, J. W. and Hinduja, S. (2006). Bullies Move beyond the Schoolyard: A Preliminary Look at Cyberbullying. Youth Violence and Juvenile Justice, 4(2), 148-169.
Offenders of cyberbullying tend to rationalize their behavior in certain ways. Half (50%) justify it as being done in fun, instructive (22.2%), or as an indirect tool used to strengthen victims (13%).

What is the school's role in this? When schools try and get involved by disciplining the student for cyberbullying actions that took place off-campus and outside of school hours, they are often sued for exceeding their authority and violating the student's free speech right. They also, often lose. Schools can be very effective brokers in working with the parents to stop and remedy cyberbullying situations. They can also educate the students on cyberethics and the law.
If schools are creative, they can sometimes avoid the claim that their actions exceeded their legal authority for off-campus cyberbullying actions. We recommend that a provision is added to the school's acceptable use policy reserving the right to discipline the student for actions taken off-campus if they are intended to have an effect on a student or they adversely affect the safety and well-being of student while in school. This makes it a contractual, not a constitutional, issue.




